Hi
278Author: Silavin
Looking around the garden in search for clues, Shi Yan found that the flowers in the field was arranged in a strange pattern. On the other hand, Shi Yin was sniffing around each entrance; she found nothing, walking to Shi Yan showing a dejected look.
“haha” consoling her, Shi Yan took a break from looking around; he caressed her while saying its okay in his mind.
After spending hours searching, no new clues came up. Shi Yan decided to stop searching and study the patterns. Although all the flowers were of different breeds, they were all purple. They were arranged to form a rune, which was illegible to Shi Yan.
Could it be possible that I cant solve this without knowing the basics of runes?
Feeling dejected, Shi Yan stopped. He needed to cool down first. Sitting on the purple flower bed, he started to inspect the ring.
How do I use this ring, Shi Yan thought. However in a midst of inspecting the ring, he touched the obsidian like gem. “*grach*” Shi Yin, after hearing this sound started to run away but it was too late. Items from the ring gushed out, as they form a hill of item. Poor Shi Yin was caught in the avalanche of items.
Shi Yin crawled out of the hill, her face was full of injustice. Once Shi Yin saw Shi Yan making a laughing face while looking at her, she dug into the mountain; not wanting to come out.
Shi Yan tried to apologise but Shi Yin just ignores him. Not even sparing him a glance. While waiting for her to cool down, Shi Yan. Starts looking through the items.
Food was stored up in packages, which made the bulk of stuff inside the ring. Armour was numerous. However, Shi Yan dreaded wearing armour after he tried one on. They made his movements too restricted for his liking. As for the weapons, there was a large array of melee weapons but Shi Yan could only use a small dagger. The rest of the weapons were too heavy and bulky for him to use.
There were books and some fresh change of clothing as well. The clothing were comfortable, most of them fitted him perfectly. Not only that, they feel much more comfortable compared to his current tattered wear. Thus, he changed his apparel to that of a comfortable smooth red and black wear.
Each book had a different title. Even though Shi Yan could read, he couldn’t understand some of the books. They were written in different languages. Luckily for him, Shi Yan read a rune guide book titled: ‘Understanding runes 101!’
Searching through the guide book, Shi Yan managed to find the rune inside. It could be translated as entrance.
What does hell does this even mean! I thought this was going to lead me somewhere… Argh! Aspirated, Shi Yan threw himself onto the ground. Damn it! He raised his right arm, covering his face. “A purple entrance…”. Muttering to himself, he seemed to be in a daze.
Suddenly, it stroke him. Springing up from the ground, Shi Yan muttered “Wait! Lumi didn’t say how many entrances there were”. Taking the dagger by his waist, He started to dig. However, just when the dagger stabbed into the ground, The whole ground collapsed forcing Shi Yan and Shi Yin land into a dark portal.
Inside this portal was a dark space. The earth and plants did not fall through but the things from the ring managed to pass through the gate.
Shi Yan and Shi Yin continued to fall once through the portal. After a few minutes, a gentle force slowed down their descent. Shi Yin landed on all fours gracefully but Shi Yan landed straight on his butt. “ouch…” seeing him fall, Shi Yin made a giggling face. Afterwards she moved to Shi Yan, cuddling him, as asking him did it hurt? Forgive me for laughing.
Shi Yan couldn’t help but laugh. This girl had a laugh when he was hurt, feeling guilty about it, she immediately seeks for his forgiveness.
“Congratulations to you both! To think that you ended up entering this entrance”. Lumi’s voice resounded throughout this dark space. “To enter this entrance, you’ve already passed. You can select three rewards out of the five.” Lumi appeared, he swiped his left arm and the dark space was now lit up by a purple moon at the ceiling. Behind Lumi was five totems with five different items. A purple pair of gloves, a golden pendant, a silver dagger, a black cloak and a golden bell. Each item was simple looking, they did not have an opulent look but they were all highly unique and finely made.
“Passed? That’s it?” Shi Yan was highly suspicious. This test did not seem dangerous at all. There was never a point in time that he felt threatened.
“Haha, Shi Yan, you may not know but if you entered the black entrance, you’d have died. Each colour has a different meaning. Throughout the ages, humans and immortals have changed the meanings of each colour over time. In short, the colours were mainly a trap. The black one especially. Didn’t you feel that the black entrance was out of place? That is was special?” Lumi smirked. “If you entered the red, we would have rewarded you with riches but in exchange, you will fail and have your lifespan reduced. Enter the yellow entrance, and you’d be disabled. As for blue, you’d have passed but become mute. If you’d enter green, you’d have passed but lose your memory.”
Hearing Lumi elaborate, cold sweat went down Shi Yan’s back. “Well no worries, as long as you passed the all the trials, we’d removed the curse of the gate. *haha*”. Lumi snapped his fingers, all the items from the ring returned back inside. “For the rest of the trials, we’d agreed to only let you take what you have wearing now. Many of the things inside this ring could be considered as cheating”.
Lumi scratched his face in embarrassment. “In exchange, we’d agree to let you bring that rune book with you.”
Strange, this whole time, Lumi’s been saying we… maybe his brother is watching Shi Yin and I.
Shi Yan knew that he could not argue. After all, he was just a participant. Reluctantly Shi Yan had no choice but to agree “Alright, I understand…”. Shi Yin on the other hand, did not care about confiscation. The items itself were uninteresting to her. However, the items at the altar attracted her attention.
Shi Yin brushed her back against Shi Yan’s leg, hinting him to follow her. Shi Yan complied and walked together with her towards the altar.
Although it was a short walk, Shi Yin’s eyes were glued onto the bell. Seeing her like that, Shi Yan couldn’t help but ask “Lumi do you have a string?”
Lumi understood his intentions and cupped his hands. The golden bell flew towards him. With a bright flash, the golden bell was attached to a loop. The smiling Lumi then made the golden bell fly onto Shi Yan’s hand. “This should be good enough. This string is made of Qulin’s hair. It’s considered a treasure but I’ll give it to you without asking for compensation this time.”
Shi Yan smiled. However, when he tried to help Shi Yin put on her new collar, Shi Yin shakes her head.
She probably doesn’t want me to waste an option on her. This silly girl… you wanted this so much but for me, you’d rather I take everything.
Shi Yin’s actions touched his heart. Shi Yan Picked up the pendant and wore it. “Shi Yin, see? If we both wear it doesn’t it make us look like a pair?” Although Shi Yan knew that Shi Yin could not hear him, he wanted to say it.
He again tried to help Shi Yin wear the pendant. This time, as his hands approached her, she licked his hands. This was a display of affection that Shi Yin commonly showed.
Seeing the pair displayed such tender affection for one another, Lumi could not help but patiently wait. After awhile, he finally spoke “Alright, what will your final choice be?”
Shi Yan pondered while scratching the back of his hand. I don’t need another weapon at the moment. I already have the dagger from the ring. That leaves the pair of gloves and the cloak… I don’t think a pair of gloves could be as useful as a cloak… But I can’t say for sure that these items have some kind of special ability… “Lumi what’s the abilities of the cloak and glove?”
“Sorry, I’m not allowed to tell you the abilities of these items”. Lumi gave an apologetic smile.
Damn it! Well, at least I now know that these items have some sort of ability… If I had to choose, It would be the coat. At least Shi Yin could put it on to cover herself. If it is some defensive item, I could hug Shi Yin inside of it or wrap her in it so that she’s safe.
Shi Yan picked up the cloak and faced Lumi. “I pick the cloak”.
Hearing Shi Yan decision, Lumi smiled. “Alright all three items have been chosen so we are going to proceed for the next test. This next test is the test for strength, endurance and courage”. With a snap of his fingers, the door with ornaments appeared. Doors slowly open to reveal a dark void.
“Just pass through this portal to enter the next test area.” After he stopped, Lumi fades away yet again.
Shi Yan put on the cloak and carried Shi Yin. They could feel each other’s palpitating hearts as they walked through the portal. Their vision soon fade to black.
After a few second, the darkness soon dissipate as a scenery emerges. It was a dense forest. Judging form the incline of the ground, Shi Yan could deduce that they was at the side of a mountain.
Muttering to himself, Shi Yan was pondering about what Lumi said. “A test of strength, endurance and courage… huh?”
A roar could be heard. A hairy figure emerges on a tall, open cliff. It was a giant ape with white fur. It stood 6 meter tall, with a wingspan of 10 meters, it’s size itself was domineering. When it sat down on the cliff, rock dust from the cliff face fell. It lifted it’s left arm, holding a bloody tiger. With a single bite, less than half of the tiger remained.
“*gulp*” Shi Yan couldn’t help swallow a mouthful of saliva.
Don’t tell me… I need to kill that thing?
Interesting enough… I’ll read as long as you translate Martial Peak for now.
Haha, there’s no need to read it if you don’t enjoy it.
There’s no need to do me favors to read just cause I’m translating Martial Peak.
Anyways, got any suggestions how to make it more interesting?
Hey Silavin
I was hesitating in posting it but If you want some comment to make a better story: I think so far there is 2 small holes in your story :
1) in the resume you wrote “… The fox soon became his irreplaceable kin, as they both survived through the world of mortals. However, life is full of twist and turns. When the Mistress of the Orphanage found the little fox hiding under Shi Yan’s bed, the poor fox suffered relentless torture and abuse. …”
=》the resume is more detailed than the story… there is many hint that make us think about the fact that (1) the mistress of the orphanage almost killed the fox but (2) nowhere it is written that the fox was under the bed
=》 I thought you could have explain it with a short explanation between Shi Yan & the old man at the start of chapter 7
2) Before chapter 7 I found the story was well plotted… but in chapter 7, things moved far too fast : wtf with the”Black Rock” ? It was introduced in chapter 4 (but so fast that we forgot about it) and became the explanation for the twist of fate of Shi Yan ?? + I thought the stone was in the leather bag under his bed in the small cave. How come the old man found it ?
=》maybe you could have spoken a little more of this “black Rock” before, or made a reminder to the reader in chapter 7 that it was the rock that was with the remains of Li En…
Keep up the good work !
1) I actually thought that it was clear that the fox was found out and brutally tortured. Else, Shi Yan would never had been triggered to such an extent.
He was crying while running away at Chapter 1 because he felt at fault for not being able to hide her well enough. But, I understand your point. I did actually write out a lot of what I have thought of and the links between the characters extremely well. I’m still having that difficulty in the later stages – up till chapter 60.
I’m also going try different types of writing style to see which one suits this type of story best. To be honest, I love it when there is an element of thought in whatever my main character does something. I think I’ve finally settled on a writing style after chapter 57. (First time writing XD)
2) these things have its own story in the later chapters, which I plan to expand upon so I thought writing it out here was kinda redundant. However, now it seems that I should add some kind of stress to the plot points is good. Btw, I was actually kinda writing very quickly for the later chapters so there were a lot of information that was missing… (Up to 57)
I’m not extremely stable as a writer simply due to my inexperience. That’s why I don’t have a strong base to rely upon. It’s great to hear comments and views of readers who are interested in my own work. Slowly, I think I can improve more. I’ll try harder to get used to writing more information in the later chapters. Although I’m still not sure which information to crop out or save for the later chapters : /
Thanks for the chapter.
I came directly from Brazil to say that your work is already multinational.
Haha, glad to hear that. I’m still pretty new to writing and the future chapters may not be as excited. I hope that you would comment on any suggestions for improvements 😀
I do not have much knowledge in Novels to help.
But know that your story is currently my favorite.
After King of the Gods
Haha. Thanks XD I’m glad that someone likes my novel so much. I don’t think it will be as exciting as the other novels out there, but there will certainly be a few unpredictable twist that you can look forward to.